Isolated

I've been thinking a lot about the concept of isolation. A feeling of Aloneness. Segregation. Solitude. In considering isolation, I can't think of one positive outcome achieved by it.*(see note) We may turn toward an inner-self reliance, convinced that no one can help or relate to us. But even the strength found there, is one of prideful necessity, not courage.

I just finished reading the first book in the Hunger Games series. I won't spoil anything for you, but the premise of the book involves a society governed by a cruel yet majestic Capitol, which has isolated the population into districts. The Capitol demands worship-like obedience and adoration. Each district is severely oppressed and is forbidden from interacting with other districts. This isolation breeds fear of and impotence against the Capitol. They are powerless against the system which dually persecutes and sustains them.

We may not live in a society where the government restricts our basic freedoms, but we do live in a culture widely dominated by the safety of secrecy. We fear having our private lives exposed. We don't want other people to know how we really feel or think or act. We feel ashamed, and we expect rejection (or worse) at the prospect of having “those things” made known. This line of thinking is the definition of isolation. We create our own private system just like the Capitol, which is to be worshiped and obeyed. This same System of Secrecy both binds us and preserves us.

I believe that life is most fully lived within the context of a community. In an honest and vulnerable sharing of and knitting together of lives. When we commit to living life in such a way, laying aside our tendency towards hiding, we free ourselves from the bondage of isolation. (Of course, one must choose wisely when deciding a community worthy of investing in. It's my belief that God has called His Church to be that vessel to His followers.)

I can't express the joy I feel when I can help eliminate the burden of shame and isolation in someones life by vulnerably sharing my own hardships and failings. The relief shown on their face when they're told, 'there's no need for embarrassment or shame'. You're not the first person to lose it. You're not the only person who's marriage is difficult (or barely surviving). You're not the only person who feels hopeless and helpless. You're not alone in your guilt for your anger, hate, lust or pride.

And here's the even more beautiful part. My experience has been one in that, when I've exposed the deepest, ugliest parts of my heart and life, those around me have embraced me with even more love and support than I could have hoped. Fear is defeated. Shame holds no power. I am loved, in spite of the mess I've made of my life. You should try it.

Don't believe the hype that isolation breeds protection or strength. It takes far more strength to lose the safety of your secrets, than it does to keep them. Real strength is gained through the community of support you've invested in. There's so much freedom to be found when you take the initiative to engage in the ugly parts of life, admitting they're real, and uniting to fight them.

There's so much more to say about the role of God, faith and the Church in that....but I'll leave it at that, for now.

Note:

*I consider the spiritual discipline of solitude to be vastly different than isolation. Maybe a topic for another day.